Voting Guide For Democrats + The Progressive Political Class

Traumatized Nation Terrified To Make Its Voice Heard In Another Election...The Onion

I decided to do a favor today for all those Democrats and the progressive political class who plan on voting next Tuesday. It's time for The Political War Zone to publish a voting guide.

I'm going to keep it very simple. By all means vote Democrat:

• If you like big government even if it remains incompatible with freedom and liberty.
• If you like restrictions on our rights as revealed by our government spying and threatening Americans and members of the press.
• If you like a lawless administration.
• If you like the IRS intimidating Americans who happen to be members of a particular political class. In other words, a government and administration that wields the power of government against ordinary citizens.
• If you like the first thing your government does is reaching for a lie.
• If your an African-American and are satisfied with official unemployment in your community remaining at 11% and unemployment among your youth ranging from 30 to over 40% in some demographic areas.
• If you like the number of actually unemployed Americans approaching 19 million.
• If you like more bad people owning guns rather than more good people owning legal firearms.
• If you like the U.S. losing its geo-political prestige, strength and influence across the globe.
• If you like the U.S. being intimidated by the likes of Iran, Russia, and N. Korea. Or an administration that prefers to bully Americans rather than rattle its sabres against its enemies. 
• If you like an administration---that by its own admission---had no strategy against the rise of ISIS.
• If you like an administration that's come up with few original ideas or policies.
• If you like phony exploitation wars against women, minorities and class. 
• If you like the rise of terrorism across the globe because the current administration keeps erasing its own red lines.
• If you like the world's leading health care system ravaged by Obamacare.
• If you like Americans living in record-high poverty.(44M+)
• If you like a record-high number of Americans receiving food stamps. (46M+)
• If you like to watch the middle-class keep shrinking resulting in the previous two points above.
• If you like the president of the U.S. spending more time attending fundraisers, taking countless vacations rather than governing. In addition to giving plumb government jobs and contracts to big donors. 
• If you like terrorist released from detention then found fighting for ISIS or some other terrorist group.
• If you like political correctness trumping reasonable common sense in decision making.
• If you like an administration and government awash in confusion, scandals and incompetence.
• If you like thugs like Al Sharpton continuing to have influence within the highest levels of our government.
• If you like the current national debt quickly approaching $18T and interest being paid at that debt of almost $3T amounting to just under $8,000 per citizen.
• If you like more and more Americans losing their life-long pensions.
• If you like pumping billions of taxpayers money into failed school systems.
• If you liked billions of taxpayer's money wasted and lost on green initiatives.
• If you like an administration and government that never accepts responsibilities for its failures and manages to blame others.
• If you like giving amnesty to thousands of illegal immigrants as they jump ahead of those immigrants who follow the legal pathway to citizenship.
• If you like voter fraud.

If you like all of that and more, then by all means vote for Democrats. Hope this helps.