Friday, December 30, 2011

Cheetah's Imposter Exposed; My Year-in-Review 2011 The Dummy List

"Iraqis Arming Selves For Independence." The Onion

  • This week, the big news was the death of one of Hollywood's greatest actors, Tarzan's Cheetah or so we thought. Then it was announced that the chimp who died might actually have been an impostor (the photo above certainly appears to be a chimp having just too much of a good time for an 80 year old. That should have given it away). I'm proud to announce that The Political War Zone---due to our first class investigative reporting---found the impostor and he's none other than this man---

  • I don't know about you, but those end-of-year lists that are appearing in the media right now are getting a tad tiring and boring. But I feel compelled and almost obligated to publish one myself. I call it "The Year in Review 2011: The Dummy List." 
The Political War Zone's Year in Review 2011: The Dummy List (you have my permission to also refer to it as "The Knucklehead List."):
  • My first choice for Dummy #1 was not a difficult one to make. Just look up. Slo Joe leads in so many categories from asking Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair. to stand up and take a bow to declaring the Taliban is not our enemy. To quote the former CIA Director, George Tenet, it's really a slam dunk.

  • My second choice for Dummy #2 was equally easy to make. None other than Michael Moore.  If I had "A Fake, Phony and Fraud Award," he would have been my second choice only behind John F. Kerry who is a fake, phony and back-stabbing fraud.

  • I had more of a difficult time coming up with Dummy #3, but, having to retain some integrity as a journalist, I had to decide upon John Boehner.

  • Sen. Harry Reid as Dummy #4 was a no brainer since this dummy has no brain.

  • Nancy Pelosi came in 5th place but I could have placed her right behind Slo Joe.

  • 6th Place was probably the easiest choice to make---none other than the entire cast of "Jesey Shore."

  • Charlie Sheen certainly may think he's "winning," but he's still a first class dummy and #7 on my list.

  • Fashion designer, John Galliano, made my list as #8 because he said one of the dumbest things on record last year and threw his career into the toilet. He said, "I love Hitler."

  • Al Gore could also have been rated higher as a dummy, but he'll suffice as #9. He would be 3rd on my fake, phony and fraud list.

  • And closing out my list in 10th place is non other than former congressman Anthony Weiner who just couldn't help sending photos of his weener area into cyberspace---and too dumb to know he'd get caught.

  • Honorable Mention goes to non other than Keith Olberman. Only person who is a dummy and knucklehead at the same time.
I could have added more dummies to my list, but I don't want to become as obnoxious as the rest of the media when it comes to these useless lists.